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Since I was little my heart was looking for home.

A place your heart feels happy

A place your heart is welcome and loved

In general there was always a home.

There was always a place I belonged to but my heart never had this feeling

My heart never belonged anywhere

I was at home but I never had this feeling until I fall in love with feeling home

Love gives me a place I belong to

Gives me strength and hope

Gives me happiness

I am not looking for a place anymore

I am looking for a feeling, a feeling I call home

That’s where I really belong to

That’s where my heart is at home 🙂

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Thinking of you

Feel happy

Be true

I am here

But where are you?

Deep in my heart

A place, where you feel smart

It is me thinking of you

Knowing happiness

The place where you are true

You are not in my mind

You are outside

Somewhere to find

I feel happy

I feel true

You are the one

I have to choose

You are the one

I never want to loose 🙂

Changing society

We live in a world influenced by technology.
Humans, who decided to own a world, improve it.
We become more and more influenced by it.
Little children with their own smart phones, with their own tablets.
Five year old children are more often playing with their technology items than enjoying nature.
Is it a process, which helps us to be more happy with our lives?
Of course technology is helpful for the global connections, industry etc. But is it necessary, that it influences us so hard in our every day lives?

Technology keeps us away from nature. It destroys our inner harmony, because we become more and more addicted to it.
We are creatures formed by nature. Isn’t nature the place we should spend most of our time?
Many people forget about it. Isn’t it great to have a walk in a park? Isn’t it great to climb a mountain?
Isn’t it great to sit in the grass and to close your eyes only to listen to all the animals, to the melody of the wind?
It is peaceful, isn’t it?

Not everyone feels close to nature. In my opinion it is the result of development.
We all have this inner instinct, which connects us to nature.
We can see the beauty of it, but most of us close their eyes. It is like listen to your heart, to your feelings and you will find the origin place you belong to.

When we forget about the spirit of nature, how are we able to live a lucky life?
Luck is defined different by every single individuum. But we belong to this process of evolution and a part of us will always remember it.
Some suppress their connction to nature, others understand how important it is to enjoy and spend time in nature.
We are able to find the spirit of nature.

To the ones, who forgot about it: Open your hearts and you will find a place of peace, joy and luck.

To the ones, who know the spirit: Isn’t nature a magic place?

My world

I am dying. Every down makes me die a little more. How do I survive? How do I fight?
I am doing mistakes again and again. My soul has this bad influence called mind.
Why does my mind drive me crazy? I become a monster.
There is me. There is my soul, which talks to me. My monster me, which hides these spoken words of my soul.
My monster me is this dark side. It has so many fears, which I cannot stand. My monster me teaches me to hate.
Hate is the strongest feeling I have ever had. It lives in symbiosis with love. All the people I love are the ones I hate the most.
All these relationships are a reflection of my broken me. It is me, who hates me. It is me, who loves me.
Special ones love me. I am always the one, who cannot stand it.
My monster me is the part I really want to controll. My monster me, which is a part of my mind, destroys me.
It makes me forget who I am. It influences my feelings. It influences my loneliness. It makes me feel lonely.
It controlls my fear of loneliness. Loneliness is one of the most difficult feelings. When I feel lonely there is nothing to hold on.
Every time I feel lonely it feels like a doomsday. My world has many doomsdays. That is because my feelings are changing from one extrem to another.

I have to fix it. I have to change it. I have to find a way to controll my monster me, because my soul really wants to talk to me, but I do not listen.
It is like having the possibility to listen, but my mind is an egoist and says no. It is a fight deep inside me.
I do not have any options. I have to die a little more inside to find my harmony. I miss my harmony. I decided to destroy it.

Now I have to fix it. I have to change situations in my life. My soul knows who I am. I know who I am. Why do I question myself so hard?
I question myself, because I am scared to be who I am. I have this thought: It is better to be hurt by people, who do never really know who I am, than being hurt by people, who really know who I am.
This thought is useless, because I never make people hurt me. I hurt them and the consequence is that they leave my life.
I know I am able to understand life in a special way. I also know, that I use all my energy to destroy myself, because I do not want to be destroyed by others.
It fits together. I use myself to destroy me. I reach this goal again and again, because I hurt people. This action is the most painful part of me.
I critisize myself. I critizise my actions. I listen to people, who want to help me. I work hard on my inner me to become a beautiful flower.
I know I can rise and become beautiful. It is me, my imperfection, my mind and my soul, which have to become a beautiful rainbow.

Dear future me:
Don’t work to become a beautiful personality! Work harder to become a beautiful personality!
Don’t forget who you are! You know who you are, always remember it!
Dream and have plans for your future.
You are the connection between music and dance. If you want to hide anywhere, you will hide exactly there.
It is the place, where you are the one you are. It is your soul’s home. It is the level, where you find chaos and harmony of your feelings.
All your fears are not able to destroy you, when you find realistic answers to all of them. Write about your fears. Question your fears! An answer will help you in difficult situations.
Keep your strength! Keep your inner fighter! Make it and survive a thousand times! Find the friend, who is closer to you than anyone else. Find your friend, called life!

Confused, totally confused

Don’t you know these moments when you want to escape from everything?

Everything feels like a mess. You cannot talk, because you’re not able to talk. You find no words. Like a bomb you’re made to explode one day. I hate this feeling. I want to be alone. No one should be with me. I don’t want to see anyone. I want to sleep. I want to free my mind from all these difficulties of life. Yesterday I slept about zwenty hours. Today I feel much better now but there are still all these conflicts in my head. How can I structure myself when I’m a mess. I don’t want to lie to myself but I do. I don’t want to hurt people but I will.

Do you know situations like that? Do you have a good idea how to find structure?

Confusion and harmony

Sometimes it feels like a rainy sunny day
It’s sad and beautiful
It’s good and bad
It’s reality and dream
It’s confusing

Confused, because all your thoughts go on different vacations.
Some meet each other, others are totally different and never meet.
You go crazy, because there is no structure. There are feelings, different feelings, which don’t fit together. But we have to handle with them, we have to make them fit together, because it’ll be a way to find harmony.

Harmony is similar to luck. It’s reachable temporarily, but it’ll never be with you the whole time.

Keep it in mind to recignize, that there have to be all these crazy thoughts, which drive us crazy to remember us of being thankful for all the lucky things, which cross our lives.

Confusion, learning, fear

It’s like thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
Everything make sense, nothing too.
The last time was a period of learning.
I learnt to understand me and I started to understand the behaviour of other people.
My thought was: If I was able to understand me it’d be able to understand others.
My thought now is: It will be helpful to understand me if I want to understand other people.
I changed my thought, because I do not feel so helpless anymore. I changed my thought, because I don’t want to be scared of the mystery neither of you nor of me. Fear can be an influence. We decide how much we want to be influenced by something. Some people are more guided by fear others less but we all have nearly the same chances to get over it. I’m not talking about fears, which are illnesses. I’m talking about topics, which make us feel depressed caused by different reasons.

Wish you a lovely day! Enjoy life! Keep on smiling!

Frustration

You can be frustrated in many ways.
Frustration at school, university, work
Frustration in relationships
Frustration at your favorite activities
Or frustrated because of yourself

These downs of frustration when you think: There isn’t anything anymore, which could make it worse than it is right now.
A possibility is to find a way to make it better somehow.
Ways. What kind of ways?
1 .You’re feeling okay with it and aren’t doing anything. A way, which is too easy, isn’t it?
2. You’re feeling thoughtful and try to find out what’s going on. Another way a little more difficult but more effective, isn’t it?

We have the choice between two ways. There are days when you choose the first one, because you don’t feel strong enough to choose the second one. There might be days when you feel sad. Days when you’re mad. You and I know that these days aren’t the end. They are our tasks, which teach us to get the strength to choose the second way.
Working on the way how we’re thinking about us makes it possible to get over frustration. We cannot influence what’s going on around us. There might be many people/ situations, who/ which make us angry, sad, frustrated and/ or disappointed. We cannot change them but we can decide how much they badly influence us.

I made an experience yesterday. This fact a human isn’t a machine it’s logical but sometimes I forget about it. I went to my dancing lesson. I’m doing my very best every time, but there are days when nothing works. There was this situation when someone told me that I had to take care of myself, because they needed me. These words make me thoughtful right now, because I was so angry, disappointed and frustrated of myself that I forgot about the fact that I’m of course dancing for myself but I’m also a part of a group, who needs me. I learnt that it’s okay to be frustrated and to have a bad day but the most important fact is that I should never forget about why I’m dancing. It’s because of passion, fun, fascination and the art to connect moves with music.

Frustration will always be a part in our lives, but we can decide how it treats us. We can learn to find ways, which make it a little easier to get over it. Everyone has to find her/his own way.