Tag Archives: addicted

The universe and changing

The sun is the center
All the planets orbit the sun

Sometimes it feels like my universe is like ours.
My sun is a person, all the other planets, too.
I orbit them from far, far away.
They mean so much to me.
That is why I am so much emotional addicted to them.
I always get to the point, when I cannot stand it anymore, because it kills me deep inside.
I want the best for all these people, but I know that I will never be able to be so close to them as I expect.
It is the reason why I become disappointed. I am a very sensitive and emotional person.

The situation became like that now: No contact to the ones I love. I have to find another structure of my universe.
That is why I keep on working on myself. The one I was yesterday wants to be a changed one tomorrow. Step by step it will work.
Happiness is so important and people are the ones, who give happiness a special.
For me it is like happiness does not exist without people. It is non sense I know.
It makes me fight! It makes me changing! FIGHT AND CHANGE!

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A letter to harmony

Dear harmony,

where are you when I miss you?
I need you. It’s hard to live without you. It’s hard to stand an atmosphere of disharmony.
I know you wouldn’t exist if there was no disharmony. You are special because you’re the opposite of your negative form.
I don’t want to live always in harmony but sometimes I wish you’re more often a part of my life!
I’m happy ingeneral, but I know I’m harmony addicted and harmony isn’t anything I can influence.
Harmony, you’re special, you’re a wonderful form of atmosphere and I need you as much as I appreciate you!

My thoughtful me talking to you 🙂

Another part of me

Looking outside
The weather is changing
From snowy to rainy, to sunny, to windy
It cannot decide how it wants to be
It is like me

I am changing. Every day makes me change. I am not sure, who I want to be.
There are some points I am very proud of, but there are other ones I really hate.
Thinking about myself it is my life’s task. It is often very great, because it makes me move further.
I get hints. I become wiser.
I am like a ball and everyone has the possibility to play with me. There are days I can stand it but there are others, which make me depressed.
I have to learn to get the strength I need to become more and more myself.
I don’t want to be someone, who is so much influenced by others. I also know, that all my life I have been influenced by people.
I didn’t hop the train to start my own story.
It is like seeing all the clouds in the sky. I am one of them, but I am moving on with all the others. I do not look special, because I hide the part, which makes me special.
I hide. I hide myself. I am totally influenced by fears.
I am a shy one. I have never ask myself why, but now I am finding an answer. I learnt that words cannot express, what I want to tell.
Words cannot describe how I feel. Words can hurt and disappoint and everyone understands what he or she wants to understand.
Words have an intention, but are we able to understand what the other one wants to tell us? Of course we try to and we ask the other one, when we do not understand them.
But I do not get it. I really try to become friends with words. It is hard for me, because I am sensible and sometimes it hurts. Words hurt.
It is my mission to find a way, which makes me lucky together with words. Maybe it is a little bit strange, because I am a writer as well. But it is different. Writing is different than talking to people.
Writing is my creativity. It helps me a lot to feel more comfortable with words. There are special ones, who also make it easier for me. I am learning that of course it matters what had happened in the past, but I also know that it is up to me how my life goes on.
I am learning and it is great to learn. I love working on my personality. I do not want to become perfect. Perfection is nothing I want to reach.
I am happy to accept more and more that I am supposed to do mistakes. I am able to work on my personality I am not a bad one. There might be some thoughts, which make me think that I am. But thoughts are moments and moments pass.
It is me. There are times I am not able to see. There are others I see everything. Both are important. Both have to be stand. I am going through this alone, but also hand in hand with the ones I love.

Addicted

Humans want to be free.
They want to be themselves.
But as much they want to decide about their life, they are not able to decide about everything.
We are influenced by so many things. No matter about whether it is the society or anything else. There are some facts we cannot influence.
Feelings are the best and worst characteristics of human.
To be addicted to someone includes every relationship.
It will be okay to be addicted to someone if you are happy.
If it changes and you become disappointed or sad, then it will be the best way to change your relationship.
Question yourself: “Why am I feeling sad? Does anthing change in our relationship? …”
It takes time to find an answer. You are able to find an answer and a way, which makes you feel better about the relationship.
Maybe the other one can help you to make it easier for you. Look at yourself, your thoughts and try to structure them.
Every relationship includes kind of addiction.Everyone is different. Everyone has another way to make it work.
Addiction seems to be bad, but we all know we are addicted to some people and we cannot change it, because we love them.
So there is this possibility of finding our own way to handle with this feeling of addiction.
Everyone can make it! Love guides us and relationships will always make us strong.
Learn to love to be addicted to the ones you love!