Another part of me

Looking outside
The weather is changing
From snowy to rainy, to sunny, to windy
It cannot decide how it wants to be
It is like me

I am changing. Every day makes me change. I am not sure, who I want to be.
There are some points I am very proud of, but there are other ones I really hate.
Thinking about myself it is my life’s task. It is often very great, because it makes me move further.
I get hints. I become wiser.
I am like a ball and everyone has the possibility to play with me. There are days I can stand it but there are others, which make me depressed.
I have to learn to get the strength I need to become more and more myself.
I don’t want to be someone, who is so much influenced by others. I also know, that all my life I have been influenced by people.
I didn’t hop the train to start my own story.
It is like seeing all the clouds in the sky. I am one of them, but I am moving on with all the others. I do not look special, because I hide the part, which makes me special.
I hide. I hide myself. I am totally influenced by fears.
I am a shy one. I have never ask myself why, but now I am finding an answer. I learnt that words cannot express, what I want to tell.
Words cannot describe how I feel. Words can hurt and disappoint and everyone understands what he or she wants to understand.
Words have an intention, but are we able to understand what the other one wants to tell us? Of course we try to and we ask the other one, when we do not understand them.
But I do not get it. I really try to become friends with words. It is hard for me, because I am sensible and sometimes it hurts. Words hurt.
It is my mission to find a way, which makes me lucky together with words. Maybe it is a little bit strange, because I am a writer as well. But it is different. Writing is different than talking to people.
Writing is my creativity. It helps me a lot to feel more comfortable with words. There are special ones, who also make it easier for me. I am learning that of course it matters what had happened in the past, but I also know that it is up to me how my life goes on.
I am learning and it is great to learn. I love working on my personality. I do not want to become perfect. Perfection is nothing I want to reach.
I am happy to accept more and more that I am supposed to do mistakes. I am able to work on my personality I am not a bad one. There might be some thoughts, which make me think that I am. But thoughts are moments and moments pass.
It is me. There are times I am not able to see. There are others I see everything. Both are important. Both have to be stand. I am going through this alone, but also hand in hand with the ones I love.


3 thoughts on “Another part of me

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